poetry of a teenager

every morning

   I wake up and my heart beats harder

every morning

   I see the sun in your eyes,

                 beauty in the world

   we are naked and twisted into 1

   and the only thing that matters

    love and ecstasy dance for us

                        in our bones

    we are love.

    we are that thing so many-

                   so fucking many-

            try to explain

     I feel this; I know this

                                   (as you open your eyes

                                      & smile for the day, for me)

every morning.

[f]

I want to write about

                   your eyes

but i forget how to 

write these thoughts

I become too consumed 

when I think about how they shine

green like life

specs of gold like

heaven piercing behind clouds

how could I even write

about

something that makes

everything

stop

[f]

I taste anarchy

on your skin and

freedom on your lips

[f]

my demons are suffocating me

I reach to my throat

& all I feel

is skin -

I know they are there

I know they like to swim

in my blood, and

fuck in my mind

I know they want my existence

to beceome

a slave

to their wants

yet these demons were not

my creation

they were my gift

[f]

sleep only comes to those with peace

do you see her?

that dark shadow? it is only her cape,

yet its color matches her

sorrows: black and tints of red

do you see the blood on her hands?

she hides from you,

she hides from us

but we all see her

black tears.

what did she do? what did she do?

gloom rolls off of that cape

she wanders, sleep only comes to

those with peace

where is she going? where is she going?

to sleep, to find a version of peace.

[f]

happiness chills up my back

is this my own?

or ours?

ours, ours, ours

oh that does smell sweet and right

for if I’m yours &

you’re mine

than we exist as ours

ours, ours, ours

could my home be yours

could our love be eachother’s

the reality, the chills

oh, the fucking chills,

creep up      yet

I do not shruder

no

I smile

[f]

restless nights & crumbled up sheets

heavy sighs & dreams to match

I reach to all sides of my bed

grasp and hope

fuck, those eyes

fuck, those sweet smiles

fuck, that warmth

I have

restless nights & crumbled up sheets

heavy sighs & dreams to echo

fuck

why aren’t you here?

[f]

there’s father, the alcoholic

here’s mother, the teenager

oh, brother - oh, sister

come, come

my brother, the golden child

my sister, the queen

oh, the love

oh, the belittlement

and there’s me,

the overdramatic brat

I’m an artist afterall, what can I say?

[f]

if I could trace words 

on your skin,

I’d write novels and novels

of my heavy breath

and your soft hair

and how the world

could

fuck off - -  

I’d write definitions

of passion & love

with my movements;

 describe to you, in detail,

of how heaven and sin

join together to rejoice.

how this lust is

synonym for

love

as poets and writers, we

yearn for

words

for you,

I’ll use a million or a billion

or more

for you,

I’ll trace those words on your sweet

skin

until the sun

burns out.

[f]